License To Wed

Of course at this stage, the most salient thing happening in my life is my continued preparation for marriage and living in a new area. One thing I keep discovering along the way is how complex the process of creating this union is, at least in the eyes of our state and federal government (the latter barely functioning these days which may cause problems for many later, but that’s beside the point).

Anyhow, the next stage of preparation for us was to acquire a marriage license which will be completed after the ceremony, then filed to make us all legal. This process is a little more complicated for us, because the wedding will be held in Fayetteville and we are located in Cary, meaning constant back and forth driving.

So, she took off early yesterday and we headed down to the Cumberland County Courthouse, located of course in Fayetteville. First, we had to step through the metal detectors. Initially, she was uncertain whether to help me walk through, but the guy watching us told her to go ahead so I reattached and entered with no issues. I did wonder if they jammed all cell communications, because my phone began vibrating as soon as we exited the building.

Next, we located the correct room, housing the Register of Deeds. People milled about, and we stood in line for only a few minutes before presenting our ID’s to the woman behind the counter. My partner said she had been able to update her drivers license online, so the photo presented there had been taken about fifteen years earlier. This led to extended scrutiny, with the woman’s eye jumping back and forth between her and the picture on the card. Eventually though, she decided it was legitimate.

Next, we had to confirm that we were entering into the marriage willingly on both sides, which caused an issue with me because of my hearing. Once the lady was aware that I might not always pick everything up though, it seemed to get easier to do so. I found her to be quite friendly, actually.

Then came the hardest part. We had to go into another room to enter all of our personal and parental information onto a computer, including their addresses. This is a challenge, as it is not something about which one usually thinks from day to day. You have to remember to list your mother’s maiden name as well. We also had some issues spelling Mecklenburg County, as well as the street on which my father currently resides (I hope I got that right in the end).

Then it was back out to present to our friendly counter lady for verification and signature. Once we got everything spelled correctly, I then had difficulty signing. They didn’t mind me making a mark, as long as it was reproducible . Where the problem really arose was in my inability to remain in the correct line, as I slid down into the area that says “do not sign here”. She finally worked out that I should just sign against a ruler, which would keep me mostly straight. I keep saying I will get another signature stamp, as it would make this process a lot more painless, but I also blame said stamps for the loss of my ability to make a good signature. I had learned it once long ago, and most times at least I could keep it within the line without any sort of guide. But then I had a stamp for four years. Signatures are definitely a “use it or lose it” thing for me, but perhaps I can re-learn it.

After a final verification, we were done! She then explained how we need to wrap everything up post-wedding, which is going to involve at least one more trip down there. Just another piece in the endless and slightly unnerving paperwork with which I must contend in order to get this thing started.

Apart from the actual marriage, other things are going well also. I have accepted the offer to return to my old job at LC Industries pending a drug testt, which I already knew would happen. No worries there, of course. I hope I can get the same position I had before, but well we shall see. And, I am ever-so-slowly adapting to Cary. I wish they could expand bus service to this town, as after 10 AM it is difficult to get into Durham, but I have already sort of covered that ground. I know I will be able to at least get to work somehow until I get all of the paratransit stuff sorted out, which will also be fun as they have residency requirements, and are not answering their phone. All will be well though.

I hope you are finding this part of my story interesting. We are looking forward to applying a big seal this coming Saturday and celebrating along with family and friends. I will probably document the big moments therein on next Monday.

8 Responses to License To Wed

  1. Congratulations! I hope it all goes well!!

    By the way, we don’t have to go through all that when we marry in Australia. Our marriage celebrants do the paperwork for us.

    Sandie. X

  2. We had an adventure. I was in an abusive marriage before my current one, and the divorce was taking forever to get completed. there was all thiws muck-up in paperwork, and we had scheduled our wedding for October 3. We had to ask the beaureau of licenses if it would be ok to bring a copy of the faxed divorc decree. they agreed. So to the lawyer’s we went the day before the marriage. finally, the fax came through. next morning, off to the licensing place. then we needed my dad’s place of birth. My cousin called him, who was out in the car, to ask the name of his birthplace. then, we had to get a judge’s waiver, and they called us when that was ready. so I understand the paperwork debacle with getting married! I wish it was like Sandy said in Australia, where the celebrants do it. let them. they can see and are probably in much less stress than those getting married.

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