Some argue that the three most seminal events in one’s life are when one is born, marries, and dies. Well perhaps we could add “has children” to that, but that differs from person to person.
Anyhow, I have done the second of these, and am now married. Prior to my own, I think I’ve only been to four weddings, my Aunt’s, sisters, my cousin’s, and my now sister-in-law’s. And they’ve all been quite different from one another, as people nowadays see opportunity to put their own stamp on the proceedings.
Most ceremonies are preceded by a rehearsal on the night before, as ours was on Friday the 26th. Before going over to the venue, Skyview On Hay, we had a wonderful dinner at Grandsons Restaurant, wherein I consumed meatloaf, two fried chicken legs, green beans, Mac and cheese, and iced sweet tea. The only minor sadness was that the piece of Black Forest cake, chocolate with Cherry in the middle, was tiny. But honestly after all that food, it’s not like I could put away much more.
The rehearsal goes fine, and we were able to meet the DJ and photographer before practicing our walk down the aisle. The plan was for me to accompany my pastor from the church in Southern Pines that my mom attends, and where I went for many years.
But on this night, the pastor is not there, so my cousin’s wife takes me on the stroll. I mostly wonder about pacing, and joke that I’ll just run down and take my spot. We are accompanied by standard wedding music, but the bride marches to Why I Love You, by Major, a beautiful song that actually has a similar rhythm to the traditional “Here Comes The Bride” that is usually played. We don’t actually practive the vows, though I kind of end up wishing we could have, as told later.
After this, we make our way back to the hotel we have chosen, due to its being located near several restaurants and a Walmart, and meet my cousin and his wife in their room. Here, they throw us an impromptu bachelor/bachelorette party in which silly items are exchanged and laughs are had. I also get a delicious cupcake that is decorated with toothpick type things that say “I do”. I eat most of it, but become acutely aware of the mess I am making on my dress clothes, which are not the tux I will wear for the ceremony, but are nice nonetheless. The constant photos taken this week mean that I must look “the part” throughout.
Sleep for me is not a problem, as the day and truthfully the whole year prior finally catch up to me and suck me under. Once I wake good she has left to have hair done, so I relax by watching the 6 AM news and reading some. Then we head to breakfast at the Cracker Barrel with some of our closest friends. I know that a good coffee is probably needed, it won’t do to fall asleep mid-ceremony after all, and so I get this with Grandma’s Pancake breakfast, including two of those, eggs scrambled with cheese, three sausage patties all of which I do not eat, and hash brown casserole. The restaurant’s noise level is such that I am able to at least moderately participate in conversation, which is saying something for these establishments. I then went up to chat some with my cousin, the only one of us who decides against waking so early, and finally head down to the room to continue contemplation and meditation.
Tux on, because it is easier than carrying it over to SkyView, we complete the ride over during the 12 PM hour, mostly in silence. And yes, we know we have violated the tradition of not seeing one another before, but figure that TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, I am not seeing her prior. Ah well, it makes things a lot easier logistically, and if that causes us issues we probably had bigger fish to fry.
It is as I sit at the “sweetheart” table and listen to things being prepared that the nerves really begin kicking in. Until, in walks my father with donuts and stories, the latter which we also take into the “Vault” (this particular wedding venue was formerly a bank” and chat with the other guys in the party. And because we seemed to be relatively closed off from everyone else and I could use the stress relief, I pull out my iPhone and fire up the UNC Tar Heels game with NC State. We all cheer and moan as time winds down, with the game ultimately going to overtime and my Heels losing. (Ah, the Carolina-Duke rivalry is one of the things to which my wife and I are most looking forward, as she is sadly on the other side).
At approximately 2:50, someone signals us to exit the vault and I stand there with my father, wondering if he will indeed walk me down. As it turns out, my pastor has not shown up for some reason. We thus do as in rehearsal, and I just walk with my cousin’s wife. My wife’s father was to be the pastor for only the second half of the ceremony, but he goes ahead and starts. Most goes as expected. Our friend again sings those songs, even better both as it is the real thing, and the sound system is more fully set up. A prayer is said, then her dad reads 2 Corinthians Chapter 13, I think, the one about love, faith, and charity. We say words to each other, mine about her ability to both inspire me to aim higher in serious conversations and our side-splitting silliness borne of similar imaginations, and hers of the continued journey that started with our friends long ago, and especially on a fortuitous trip to Daytona Beach. For this reason, we may choose this place as our honeymoon destination later in April, assuminbMiami is overpriced. But who knows.
The vows. Well, I said most of them easily and well enough. But then there was a phrase I wasn’t expecting, and my hearing makes it difficult for me to pick up out of the blue statements like that. That was a little embarrassing, but ah well. Then I was concentrating on the act of having the ring placed on my finger, the wrong one as it turns out, and didn’t realize zi needed to repeat after him and say he words that solidify it as a symbol of marriage. He simply said “Say With This ring I be wed,…” and all was well. I guess I felt a little better though as even he had a small glitch, assigning us both an entirely new last name: “Everybody, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Campbell!” This drew amusement from all.
Y’all, do we really have to have the picture-taking part? It’s torture! We spent nearly an hour naturally-but-unnaturally walking, kissing, holding hands, leaning in, combining and recombining participants, and yes even laughing. Nah it wasn’t that bad, I actually enjoyed the entire day. I was, however, glad to finally step out into the fresh air for a bit.
Our first dance was Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud, which has a great deal of significance to both of us. That really long wedding dress which I must have stepped on like 30 times meant we could only rock back and forth, and she admitted to feeling strange as every eye in the place was on us. I felt great though as I consumed food catered by Fuller’s Restaurant: baked chicken legs, delicious rice and gravy, Mac and cheese, green beans, corn, and a roll. This topped off by two welcome glasses of lemonade, as all that picture-taking parched me.
And that was most of the substance of it. The best man, (my cousin) and maid of honor, (her sister) did give nice speeches, as well as both of our parents. By that point, exhaustion was definitely setting in, and so I was glad when, after having the marriage license signed and witnessed, we finally took off.
And so here I am, still getting used to having this piece of metal on my finger and this wonderful individual always in my life. While our longer trip will happenlater, as I noted, we hope to take a little jaunt to Myrtle Beach this Thursday night which will help with the Winter-induced cabin fever. So, here’s to many more years and the joining of two great families.